Mampang, Shortest Offensive of all Time

Sorcery, book 4 – the final stage, the infiltration of Mampang Fortress to take back the Crown of Kings from the Archmage. My journey through the Baklands leaves me in an interesting predicament:

• Skill 10, +1 sword, +2 armband of swordmastery = 14. Nice.
• Luck 14. No joke; a natural 12 then books 1 and 3 each increased it by 1.
• Stamina 18.
• …but no food.

The walk starts off on the craggy mountainous paths, with a rainstorm coming. I find some caves and decide to hole up in one. Inside I find a dead satyr. Seems harmless, but I’m concerned that its ate may come back and blame me for the death, so I pick a different cave. This one is inhabited by a skunkbear – eeeww! We fight. It sprays me. Eeew. Eventually I kill it and, here comes the most incredible part of my whole three-book journey so far… I decide to sleep in the cave anyway, despite the reeking emissions of a two-meter-tall skunk. Ugh.

Next morning, I gain 2 stamina from sleep but lose 3 from hunger. Ouch. I hit the road, cross a bridge, and notice a bird’s nest. Now, normally I wouldn’t care the least about a bird nest, but you know how these books are – the crown is probably in a chest, that needs a brass key hidden in this stupid nest. Sigh.

In I go. I find a gold mirror (used to  cast KIN) but also the bird men come home. No other rolls nor choices – they grab me, fly into the sky, and drop me to a bloody pulp on the rocks below.

Shortest offensive of all time.